Letters From My Dad

Three Weeks later.

2010-05-25T11:16:00.000-07:00

So, I have kind of calmed down. Here is some good news. Read this newspaper clipping [click the link]. I will fill in the blanks. You see what is happening is that ADC is being sued over that 70% law for non-violent drug offenders. Well, the people won, but instead of telling the world that they were in the wrong, they are making it sound like they will be changing the law due to other reasons. Just so they don't look like idiots!

Either way, I do not care! It looks like I will be getting out a lot sooner. Is that cool or what?

I showed people the comments from my blog that you sent me. Cool! Even pot-head. He is an idiot! But he is a good man.

[On the back, there was a drawing of P.J. Funny Bunny.]

Yesterday...

2010-05-24T11:14:00.000-07:00

I was laying on my rack and something hit me so hard I wanted to explode! So I screamed it.

THIS PLACE IS A FUCKING WASTE OF MY LIFE!

My roomies tripped, but agreed.

God, I hate this fucking place, this fucking state, most of these stupid fucking people!

My friend told me to tell you about him.

2010-05-23T11:10:00.000-07:00

He got approved for parole in 2008. He is still here, because all of his parole plans failed.

He was trying to parole out of state to family. Sounds funny, but it's very sad. He is in here on a false charge. Sucks! So now he is trying to get a local address. He is a Mexican. He just wants to get back to his kids. This place sucks! Arkansas!

Prisoners take care of prisoners.

2010-05-22T11:00:00.000-07:00

Some cook, some clean, some plumb, some fix AC's. Everyone has a job, or I should say - most do. There are still some that are just mental and some that are worthless and soulless. Most states, inmates that work normally get paid. Not a lot, but enough to help. But not Arkansas! Slave labor!

There are liars, haters, rapists, murderers, drug addicts, robbers, dealers, and the worst kind, child molesters, in this prison. I am surrounded!

Guess who my friends are out of all of that fucked up mix? There is a total of seven people I associate with. They are all over 40 except for one. 2 dope cooks, 1 drug addict, and 4 murderers. Crazy isn't it? What is more crazy is that each of the murderers has killed more than once and has already done time for the first murder and are back for another. But they are solid straight people. I respect them. Like I said - CRAZY. We all look out for each other.

To whom it may concern:

2010-05-21T10:48:00.000-07:00

[This is a letter from the guy -27 years old- who held up the pharmacy for pills. Dad wanted me to post this here for him. Also, they have some kind of deal going where every letter this guy gets - Dad will get some sodas, or something. :)]

Well, I'll start out by telling you my charge: Aggravated Robbery. Bummer! I am genuinely a good person, but unfortunately I got addicted to drugs (pain pills). I have 12 years left to do. I had a wife, but she just couldn't ride it out with me. She is a good woman and in no way do I blame her for jumping ship. Anyway, enough about that.

I am very respectful, witty, and I love more than anything to laugh and keep everyone around me laughing. I have a good heart I am told and I am eager to please. This is my first trip to prison and hopefully my last. I really would like a friend to write to me. I would be more than happy to answer any questions you want to know and will most certainly respond to any letters I receive. To be honest, I am lonely and would love more than anything to find someone to share my experiences with.

Sincerely,
Jeremy Kirbo #142696
7500 Correction Circle
Pine Bluff, AR 71603

Yesterday, the main man...

2010-05-20T10:42:00.000-07:00

over all maintenance of ADC prisons told my supervisor that it was finally time they got an AC tech. Talked very highly of me (by name). Not bad being compared to the whole state. I hope that doesn't mean they keep me longer.

- I hope Mom is having a great time!

- I miss all of you very much.

- Do people really read this shit? [I sent him a letter with the comments...]

- I hope the 70% goes to 25%.

- I hate prison.

- I miss my freedom.

- I would love a cigarette.

- I miss living.

- I miss you.

- I would also love to have a whiskey and coke.

- I miss being an alcoholic!

Guess who is in my block?

2010-05-19T10:35:00.000-07:00

The Lonoke ex-sherriff! So after all the crap that he and his wife did, he gets out next year. He has already done 2 years and his wife is also getting out at the same time.

How in the hell does that happen? Maybe because he is friends of the Clintons. So tell me what you think of our great system?

I am too pissed to write anymore at this time. Fuck Arkansas!

I work again today...

2010-05-18T10:28:00.000-07:00

Boy, by having us like slaves, they sure do save a lot of money! I thought slavery was out years ago.

I talked to one of the guys of the families that are suing the court over the 70% law and he said that they WON. But the judge has to apply it, or something. I don't really understand, but the guy said it could be tomorrow or next year. So when it happens it will take 2.5 years off of my T.E. date. Limbo.

Late night -

2010-05-17T08:44:00.000-07:00

I am tired/worn out. I sleep in a 6 man cell. It is not that bad, but I miss my privacy. The man that sleeps in the bunk to my left is a good man. He is your age and has the same problem as your friend [who is addicted to pills]. Addicted to those fucking downers. I feel for those type of addicts. My heart really goes out to them.You see, with meth and cocaine it is very different with the withdrawal.

So anyhow, this guy went into the pharmacy and held them up for pills. Didn't get nothing but 30 years. He will have to do 15 of it. I believe he is suicidal right now. It sucks to see this.

Where to find support...

2010-05-16T10:19:00.000-07:00

My Dad wanted me to post something for some of the wives, so they could find a place to go and talk with other wives and get some kind of support and understanding.

Prison Talk is an online forum. There are lots of women on there who have husbands in prison, and there's lots of information as well. I would definitely recommend perusing the forum section if you need someone to talk to. It's a family support site, so others are of course welcome, too.

I have been working hard.

2010-05-03T11:04:00.000-07:00

The hospital 40 ton compressor went out. So I am fixing it (replacing it), but there is about 6 other guys trying to tell me how to do it. Bunch of idiots.

If I could wish for anything...

2010-05-02T10:59:00.000-07:00

you know what my wish would be? Maybe, maybe not, so here it is:

A small one, but a good one. I would like to go back with the knowledge I have now to the age of 29 when we moved to Hawaii [I'm 26, Dad is 46]. I know I would have been a better father. We would probably still be over there now. I would probably be living in Kula (upper) or Pukalani, and you - the world would be yours.

Sorry. I don't live in the past, but I sure do get pissed at myself when I think about all the stupid moves I made. Forgive me! The hardest part is forgiving myself.

I don't know where I am going from here.

2010-05-01T10:57:00.000-07:00

I am back in limbo. Still waiting for the decision on the 70% to 25%. I should find out something this week.

So here is the update:

2010-04-30T10:51:00.000-07:00

I still don't smoke, but with a $20 bill I can get a bag of "Top" cigarettes ($2 in stores) from an officer and get 35 smokes from the Tops bag and sell them for $2 a piece to the inmates. That is the going price. So, actually, for a $2 bag of Tops, you can make $68 in prison! Is that messed up, or what? People taking advantage of people.

Besides that, they put me in maintenance. I am the top man over the whole AC & Heating project. The man! [slave labor]

Got a letter from Mom.

2010-04-29T12:00:00.000-07:00

I did not like it one bit. It was how she wrote it. Like she wasn't going to be around when I got out. That freaks me out.

I would give you an update, but right now I can't think.

Sorry for not keeping better daily records,

2010-04-28T10:45:00.000-07:00

but I have been trying to get settled into this new job. It is frustrating when I think about when I will get out of here (prison). It is so depressing. So don't get mad at me for sometimes feeling like it would be better if it would all just end. Don't worry, I would never go there, but I do sometimes wish it would.

To tell you the truth...

2010-04-27T10:44:00.000-07:00

I still hate this place and miss my freedom!

So bad!

Hey Worm-Dirt,

2010-04-26T10:39:00.000-07:00

Love you! Miss you! Hope you all are doing good.

I haven't been writing much, but I guess that is good. I am trying to keep myself busy!

They got me doing all the air-conditioning in the whole diagnostic center. There is a lot to this place (hospital, offices, barracks, kitchen, and a lot of cells). I am top dog.

This place is old, which makes it very difficult, due to the fact that 90% of the people did not know what they were doing. So, I am having to redo everything that was added since 1973.

They...

2010-04-24T16:47:00.000-07:00

have been keeping me so busy. They have no true AC guy here. You know that in the trade of HVAC, I do it all, but my service knowledge is the one part I don't excel at like the rest. So guess what I am doing? Service, of course. But, I am better than anyone else here, which doesn't say too much for ADC.

I still have a good feeling about the 70% going to 25%.

Right now they have me at a class I-C. I don't know exactly what that means, but I am allowed to work on the roof unsupervised. Cool. Also, after 30 days they might put me into a class I-B, which I understand will allow me to go outside the fence and travel to different places to fix shit. That will help time go by so much better.

Thank you...

2010-04-24T12:29:00.000-07:00

for the money in my account, but don't you ever do that again. I'll be fine! [I'm about to put some in when I'm done with this updating...]

Too cool about the donate button. I sure would like to have an ice-cream right now. Plus a smoke. Plus a whiskey. And maybe one of my psycho girlfriends! If you're going to wish, wish big!

And a house for you and one for me (within walking distance).

Sushi! Miss it!

One more thing. My celly wants to give me a tattoo. He says it's a crime. Every felon gets a tattoo. There is some kind of law that states this. I could get one that covers my whole back and both my arms and maybe half my face and I'm just joking!

Please tell me what you and Dave think about this.

While I was working...

2010-04-23T16:41:00.000-07:00

in maintenance today, I was talking to this one guy who was doing plumbing work. He has this big pot leaf tattooed on the back of his bald head. It's even painted all green. Huge! So, anyhow, he asked, as they all ask, what my charge is. I told him 10 years on the 70%.

He says that he got 10 years, too, but on the 1/3. So he is doing 1 and a half less time than I am to his T.E. date.

Oh yeah. I forgot to tell you his crime. He got into a fight and beat this guy almost to death. Then, not satisfied, he choked him to death. He is in here for murder and is going to get out before me. Is that fucked up or what? I hate this state!

Well, today I got my...

2010-04-22T16:36:00.000-07:00

classification. Guess what they want me to do. Come on! Guess!

I stood in front of about 12 people, the warden and his fleet. Kind of hateful and sarcastic.

So did you guess?

If you guessed janitor, you were wrong!

Classification started at 10:00 am and was over at 10:30 am and at 2:00 pm I was on the prison's roof directing a crane on setting a 40 ton compressor into the AC unit on the roof.

So if you guessed AC man, you guessed right!

It's getting late.

2010-04-21T16:34:00.000-07:00

I know I won't be able to sleep. I can't get this 70% off my mind. Tomorrow, classifications first thing and they will get me to working fast and put me in new barracks. The one I am in now sucks. It is so fucking cold in here, and you know how I love the cold.

Man...

2010-04-20T16:32:00.000-07:00

I just got through talking to the man who is suing the state. He showed me paperwork.

They are waiting for a judgment right now!! OOOOooo

Two more days...

2010-04-20T16:20:00.000-07:00

and then I will go in front of classifications officers and then I can move on. Maybe see where I am at, I am so "lost."

So I met this guy that has the same charge as me. He along with 15 others are the ones who are suing the state on the 70%. I will find out more details later, I hope.

I hate it here! I can do it, but I hate it. One of the officers came up to me and said, "You don't belong here." He said it with true sincerity.

I was watching TV...

2010-04-19T16:22:00.000-07:00

and if I was out there I would buy this for you. It was too cool. A Fender phone from T-Mobile. I would let you pick the color.

I'm sorry for being in here!!

---

Boring. I try to sleep it through. It's not easy!

I've heard about...

2010-04-19T16:18:00.000-07:00

20 different ways of what I should do. It is crazy.

So this is my plan: I got to go to classification and present my case and get some feedback, because if I do decide to go to Vo-Tech, I've only got 2 months. So, I am going to kick back and do their repairs and see how the time goes and how I am treated.

The main man...

2010-04-09T10:06:00.000-07:00

...over maintenance came by to see me. It looks like I will be working outside of the fence. I understand I will be traveling a lot to different locations. I don't know what I want to do! I think I am going to have a long talk with the classifications officers to see what is better for me.

I kind of want to go to VO-Tech and after that, work-release. Even though I might be treated like a king doing A.C. for A.D.C. and still go to work release.

I don't know!

I am right now in an open barracks

2010-04-08T10:04:00.000-07:00

There are two wings. In between them there are showers/toilets and two day rooms with a TV in each room. Each room holds 50 people. I was talking to an electrician here. He was telling me that most of the people here were child molesters. Kind of pisses me off. I better not have one come up and talk to me or I will be going to the “hole.” He told me his uncle took one of these pieces of low-life shit (him and two others) and grabbed a broom and shoved it up his ass ripping his insides all up. The guys got another 10 years added to their sentence. These low-life child molesters mostly get probation or out within a year. Isn’t that just so fucked up? Our government sucks..

This one guy kills a man that had told him that he was going to rape his kids. He got 25 years on the 70%. He had served the armed forces for our government and had never been in any trouble. The man he murdered was a low-life wife-beater and drug dealer. Why does our government protect these baby rapers and pieces of shit?

Yesterday, they moved me back to diagnostics.

2010-04-07T10:04:00.001-07:00

I don't even have my 60 days done yet. Just now, while I was writing this, I was interrupted and told that the main man was talking to the classifications officer about me. Wanting me to start work now! (institutional need) I don't know what to think. It looks like they've got plans for me and I am not included in setting them.

Today...

2010-03-22T18:41:00.000-07:00

they are moving me to a different location. I hope they don't make me into an institutional need!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!

2010-03-21T18:43:00.000-07:00

While I was writing, my friend/person in jail you cope with stopped by to offer me some good pot (mary jane). It smelled real good. He said since we just got drug tested it will be at least another month. I told him to fuck off and thanks.

Damn it!

2010-03-20T18:38:00.000-07:00

There were too many guards!

I made a trade. I know I can get into trouble (BIG). BUT it's not dope, it's not cigarettes, and not alcohol.

It is peanut butter from the state. 1 peanut butter for 7 hot chocolates.

Fuck, no cartoons.

2010-03-19T18:35:00.000-07:00

Those assholes have 2 TV's. One for movies and one for sports. So this morning they both are on the same channel: hunting/fishing. Like we can do any hunting when we get out. We are felons. No firearms forever. Hell, we can't even have a knife bigger than the palm of our hand.

Fucking A! Cartoons are on! Burn the world later...

I got my...

2010-03-18T18:28:00.000-07:00

knee x-rays. One of the guys that was also getting x-rays for the same problem (blown knee) said he is finally getting it operated on. He has been waiting since 2000. He said they are finally fixing it because of the new doc. Same doc I got, and yes she is cool! Down to Earth.

I'm hearing stories...

2010-03-17T18:15:00.000-07:00

about the way the prison used to be. All these horror stories, you know... all the ones you've heard of, I am sure. What the movies made it out to be. They were true at one time, but it's not as bad anymore. There are no rapes, no fights, no gang wars, and no Mad Jackers. Mad Jackers were these sick fuckers that would jack-off in the open all the time. They would stare people down and jack-off. Fucking sick!!! But now the ADC is enforcing stiffer penalties and it is working.

Since I have been here, I have not seen one fight or anything - well, there was a Mad Jacker caught 2 days ago. He had a blanket covering his opening in his cell door. He was peeking out at the guard in the tower and jacking off. Another guard snuck up and tore the blanket down. Caught him in the act! Charges were brought against him and he got knocked all the way down in his classes and thrown into the fucking hole where he belongs.

Right now...

2010-03-16T18:05:00.000-07:00

I am on a lay-in for 10 days. I don't know if I already told you. So I am in the barracks doing nothing but writing and listening to some golden oldies! It's alright.

Last night they did a random drug test. So out of the 12 that was with me, 1/2 of them failed. God, they are so stupid.! The drug test is the one they send to the lab. They test for alcohol, pot, pills, tobacco. The ones that failed - most of them were going up for parole within 3 weeks. Now they will get disciplinary and probably have to do another 90 days, but at class 4. It is hard to get out of class 4. They will be with nothing but class 4 idiots who don't give a shit about themselves or anyone else. Stupid idiots.

It's a holiday weekend,

2010-03-15T18:00:00.000-07:00

so they are showing a lot of movies. Sucks in a way, because I miss my cartoons - the only thing I look forward to.

It still drives me insane, like right now (evening time), thinking, hoping, that the 70% will be changed to one-fourth. Losing your freedom isn't all you lose. You can't plan. I can't do anything about it. Fuck, this sucks.

Remember...

2010-03-14T18:00:00.000-07:00

me telling you of that guy that raped the 5 year old? Well, I can't believe how sick people are. He has now been caught watching people shower. I think he is being made into someone's bitch. What a fucked up world!

From: Ash

2010-03-13T18:22:00.000-08:00

My Dad is a super, happy-go-lucky kind of guy. Obviously he's not been on the easiest course in life, but despite all the shit we've all been through I still see my Dad as a loving, nice, gregarious, generous, and respectful person.

One of his most common phrases is: " I love life, life is good." He says it with this big cheesy smile - my friends and I used to mock him about it in middle school. :)

Anyway, point: I catch myself saying this to myself now, and I'm finally starting to get it.

Today was Shakedown.

2010-03-05T20:57:00.000-08:00

That's when the guards come in and search for drugs, cigs, alcohol, and other things. What a joke, because the guards are the ones that bring it in to sell to the inmates!

Mr. Wood stopped by my cell to talk. We both like S.K. books and he had got one for me from the library called Everything's Eventual (short stories). He wanted to know what I thought of one of the stories called, The Man in the Black Suit. I told him that I liked it and what really made the story good was what S.K. had written about how he came up with the story. Talking to Mr. Wood led into something else. I have "died" twice! Both times I experienced something different after my heart stopped. Mr. Wood told me about a car accident he had where he had a flatline experience and it was identical to my second experience. Crazy!

One day, ask me the details, but just know that there is something after death. You know I don't lie about shit like this.

Today, as all the days lately,

2010-03-04T20:56:00.000-08:00

I have been praying/hoping for the 70% to be knocked down to a 1/4 (for non-violent offenders). I am being told that it might be passed. But how can you believe an inmate? 50% maybe, 50% bullshit, but I still hope!

Let me tell you some more about Lonoke County.

2010-03-01T20:39:00.000-08:00

Recently the mayor was caught embezzling. The chief of police was cooking dope and prostituting his wife out to 309's that work at the jails. He would also send the 309's to the houses that were raided by the cops and have them steal anything of value in them.

What is a 309?

A 309 is under the ACT 309 program. Eligible ADC inmates are housed in certain county or city jails for work purpose. Participating counties and cities request inmates by skills (dope cook). The inmates are not supposed to get paid (wouldn't sex be payment).

My opinion: Arkansas is a corrupt state in law enforcement, prison state, ignorant people. Life could be great, but not in Arkansas. They should have a sign warning people about this shit hole on all HWY entrances!

So anyhow...

2010-02-28T20:23:00.000-08:00

I heard about that murder in that county jail. The one I already told you about, but I got more info. There were 3 charged for the murder. One of them charged is in this prison (Cummins). This one guy, well while he was in that jail, right before the murder, he was screwing this girl inmate in Lonoke County Jail (kind of tells you about the jail) who was the sister of the boy who actually killed the man in the shower room. So now he thinks that this girl is now pregnant. Is that just unreal? So now there is this child being brought into this world who was conceived in a county jail and the father and uncle are murderers!

What kind of future does this child have? Should he or she be aborted? Or let live - but with the family background will this child be just another zit on the ass of society.

Today...

2010-02-27T20:17:00.000-08:00

...or I should say Right Now, I am watching TV. Legends of the Fall just came on and who do you think that reminded me of? But of course you. Boy, did you dislike that movie when you were 6 or 7! [haha] Sometimes I think back, I should have been such a better father. I know I can't change the past, so I try not to let it bother me. (But it does.) I have learned from it and I am learning from this. When I finally get out of this fucking place and state, I know I will be a better person and a better father.

Dentist - Woo-hoo!

2010-02-26T19:58:00.000-08:00

He pulled my wisdom and the one next to it., due to the filling in it broke out along with the side of my tooth. The prison does not do any cosmetics. They don't care if they are pretty or not. The dentist was about 60 years old and 90% deaf. So after almost driving my face through the back of the chair and using my lower lip as a pivot point for the tongs to extract the teeth, I was done. (4 stitches)

I LOOKED LIKE HELL! Or something from a horror magazine! When I left the dentist chair, I was headed to the holding cell and passed the waiting cell, where four other inmates were waiting for their turn to see the dentist. One of the inmates was a friend from county jail. He looked at me in shock, so I took advantage of that moment. I started making hand gestures of total pain and gargling noises. You should have seen their faces, they were horrified!

It was so hard to keep a straight face, but apparently I did it too well. When I got into the holding cell and a couple of minutes had passed (laughing hard), my friend came into holding. I asked him, "What the hell are you doing?" And he replied, "Fuck the dentist, my teeth will just have to fall out by themselves." I could not stop laughing.

Days are long.

2010-02-25T19:56:00.000-08:00

Some more than others. Today is long!

Today I got a letter from you.

2010-02-24T19:53:00.000-08:00

It was kind of insulting.

Loco Moco
- 2 scoops of rice
- 1 hamburger patty (big and flat)
- 2 eggs (over easy)
- gravy
- tobasco
- shoyu
Mouth watering.

[I had asked him if he remembered what Loco Moco was.]

I've got 30 more days...

2010-02-23T19:50:00.000-08:00

...to do before I can talk to a classifications officer about Vo-Tech and work release. I am so ready for that! I am ready to move on. Please give me something to do, because if I don't have something to do I will go insane.

At this time I am reading S.K. Bag of Bones. It's alright.

New Story

2010-02-23T19:47:00.000-08:00

There is a young boy in here (21). Some people are talking about killing him. This boy raped a 5 year old.

Bah Hum Bug

2010-02-22T19:47:00.000-08:00

How depressing can it get? Normally when an inmate is depressed another inmate will try to boost him up. Holidays. You can cut it with a knife. Depression.

Also the flu is in and a lot of people are sick. I am just waiting for my turn!

I sure hope for better things!

One thing I prefer being in prison to is being married! My gosh the hell husbands put themselves through. Some of the men who had wives until they were put in prison are suicidal. This one man tried to jump off the third floor. Another that got 20 years on a 70% (like me) has to do 10 years before he can get a chance for parole. His wife that he was married to for 15 years and loved very much left him the day he got committed. He seems to be a good man. Just another addict.

Then there are the others (worthless inmates). This idiot is going to have to do 5 years before parole and his wife gives him money and he yells at her on the phone. So the other day she got tired of it and apparently picked up some young man and is doing him in their bed. You should have seen him after that phone call! What an idiot!

Today is...

2010-02-20T17:59:00.000-08:00

...my one year anniversary (since I got pulled over in Phoenix). I am sitting here writing and eating my sourdough Snyder's pretzels with jalapeno cheese squeeze and a cup of coffee, thinking about what I am going to do when I get out.

I will surprise you! And, also, before I get out I will have a present for you and Dave that will hopefully make up for all the missed Christmases. I love you and miss you and know that this letter will not get o you in time for me to wish you a Merry Christmas, but remember this - no matter where I am, time of day, my heart is thinking of you and wishing you the best! So I sure hope you and Dave have a great Christmas!

[Note: I have to type these out, so this is probably the first time you'd notice how far behind I am... also, this letter is covered in cheese.]

Time is so slow.

2010-02-15T18:45:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe that I am going to be in prison for another 4.5 years before I can parole out. I don't know. This is so fucked. I hope the Public Pretender gets some kind of disease. God, I hate her.

It is so hard not to think about doing 4.5 years more in this shit hole. I hate people! I hate Arkansas! I'll tell you what I want to do: FUCK THIS PLACE. I really don't know how I am going to make it without exploding. FUCK!

Later: I am "proof-reading" at this time and I thought I should leave this just as I felt. I am listening to Nazareth Love Hurts at this time.

I got to tell you this story.

2010-02-14T18:39:00.000-08:00

It's really fucked up.

This man was stopped 3 times going home and let go - told to go straight home. After the third officer stopped him and let him go, he drove about 200 yards and ran right into 2 older people. Killed them both. They had just left their grandson's football game.

DRUNK. And since he was stopped by 3 different police and let o, he only had to serve 18 months in county jail. No probation or anything.

What do you think of that? Arkansas is so fucked up. I hate this place.

Enough of that. Right now I am reading S.K.'s Everything's Eventual (short stories). Is t cold there? Tomorrow we get to watch cartoons (cool)! God, I wish I had a cig and a whiskey and coke!

Today and yesterday we finally...

2010-02-12T18:34:00.000-08:00

...went outside and worked in the field for about 2 hours each day. Boy, my ankle and knee are fucked up!

From what I understand from a friend is that he called his lawyer and asked about what was going on with the 70% thing. So his lawyer said that families were suing the state since murders and rapists were getting less of a charge than dope charges.

There's something you, mom, and everyone needs to know!

2010-02-11T18:30:00.000-08:00

If you get a letter from an inmate saying they might stab or kill me unless you send them money - Don't send money! Just contact the warden and tell them what is up. I will not get hurt, but this is what some inmates do (lifers), just trying to get money with scare tactics. No worries. I can take care of my own!

I told you about this one guy...

2010-02-09T14:10:00.000-08:00

...who murdered another man and only got 8 years. There is another man in here with an identical charge as me. They gave him 20 years on the 70% so he has to do 10 years before parole (his first time). This man seems to be a good man. Now, because of this he has lost everything (family and home). This state destroys people. What about the people who should be in here? It doesn't make any sense.

There was this guy 6 months ago who stalked his own daughter, cornered her, and raped her. The court gave him 5 years probation. Is that fucked up, or what?

When me and mom went to court together for the first time, while I was waiting to go in front of Judge S****y (POS), he gave another man 3 years for child molesting. This man did this at an ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. I would have had the motherfucker shot!

What is up with our system? I am just an addict. I got one more story to tell for now: This other man got a 10 year sentence on 70%, like mine. On the way home (alone) from court, his wife committed suicide. Killed herself. They were married for 7 years.

Here is some maybe good news:

2010-02-08T17:56:00.000-08:00

This man I was in line with told me that his wife told him that the 70% to 50% is going to be reduced to one third. If that is the case, I will be out in 2.5 years. Is that cool, or what?

Do you think you might need a sun machine for the depression? There is a test you can do.

So sweetheart,

2010-02-08T17:00:00.000-08:00

I talked to Mom and she told me that you got on some other medicine and it hasn't helped, but made it worse. Don't let these doctors use you like a guinea pig.

DAMN IT!

Are you smoking weed anymore? Didn't that help a little?

What do you think?

2010-02-07T17:52:00.000-08:00

What are you doing in these days of winter? What is it like for you? I want to know what you feel. Tell me about how it has affected you. Your father is in prison.

I am so sorry for most of your life. I could have been so much of a better father. I am so sorry.

I do truly love you with all my heart. I am just a screw up, and I don't mean to be. I do so much want to have been a better Dad. I hope you will forgive me. I know I won't.

P.S.

I am so truly proud of you!

Same nothing. Stagnant.

2010-02-07T17:46:00.000-08:00

Went to the dentist. I lost 2 fillings, broke a tooth. So I am going to see what they will do.

Cummins is not a bad place, but being that we are not done with hoe squad (60 days), time is really slow. Once we're done they will give us a new job to do outside or in. Utility or something. I will be going to Vo-Tech after that since I will still have too much time on my T.E. to go to work release. I am going to try to be a 309 until then.

What is a 309? Inmates housed in certain county or city jails for work purposes. Participating counties and cities request inmates by skill, but if an inmate is more than 30 months from parole eligibility, the Sheriff in the county of conviction has to approve the inmate's participation in the program.

Since I know the sheriff's secretary personally (dated her daughter in high school), I don't see a problem. Then when my 30 months come into the line up, I will leave the 309 position and go to work release.

So anyhow,

2010-02-04T20:10:00.000-08:00

I just found out about these two other men. You are going to trip. This stuff is insane!

One - G*** W******* is charged with attempt to manufacture with no weighable amount. The judge said " I will make you an example" and gave him 100 years at 70%. The man is 50 years old. He appealed it to the supreme court and they deducted 15 years. (Woo-Pee)

So now his T.E. date is 2041. They just took the man's life. Wouldn't you call that murder? Our court system. But that wouldn't matter because murderers don't have to serve long.

Two - J**** murdered a man and was sentenced to 8 years and will only have to serve 2.5 years. He'll get out before I get out. BULLSHIT.

This is what bothers me the most, how this keeps going on. We need to fight this. Change our government. Civil war. Fuck yes! Throw the lawyers in a hole!

Cummins is nothing like R.L.W.

2010-02-03T20:04:00.000-08:00

There is less women guards (they seem to have a chip on their shoulders). "Ugly damn!" But other than that I can't say anything else, due to the fact they got us in lock up in two man cells (not all day). Because of the weather, we can't go do hoe squad. After 60 days we'll be given a new job assignment. Then I will know more about Cummins!

I'm better today. I still hate being in prison. It sucks so bad!

Anxiety.

2010-02-01T20:01:00.000-08:00

Felt like the walls were caving in, I want to take heads and just flip out. God I hate losing my freedom! My roomy tried to calm me down. So I went to the gym with some of the friends I have made and played some ping-pong. It helped.

I don't mean to whine, but God, I hate this place.

Almost missed breakfast and lunch. Overslept!

2010-01-31T20:01:00.000-08:00

I wanted to go to the library because I don't really care about the book I got. Stephen King and Peter Straub's Black House. It drags. But I was warned about the mad cock suck that's in there [library]. Apparently this one guy came by my friend (a big boy) he was stalking, walked by this old man three times and then tapped him on the butt. The old man followed him into a corner and dropped to his knees. Pretty fucked up!

From Ash: My Dad would like this...

2010-01-24T22:27:00.001-08:00

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

New Day, New Plan

2010-01-23T14:27:00.000-08:00

Still no work (hoe squad). Most people are happy about this. Not myself! I would be happier if I was working. I would rather be doing something than nothing.

So I decided that as soon as I get done with hoe squad, I am going to request to go into V-Tech. I decided to take the Computer Science Tech. I believe the class is for one year and as soon as I am done with that I will be credited 3 to 6 months for completing the class. Then I will do work release with the rest of my time. With that I will be able to make money and get furloughs.

It still sucks that I have to do so much time.

Oh yeah... the drugs in prison. Right when I got in (in the first 2 hours), I was offered a cigarette, pot, and pills. But don't worry, I am not going to go there. I want to get out as soon as possible!

It must be Man's Law!

2010-01-22T14:27:00.000-08:00

Gold rule! The man with the gold makes the rules (O.J.).

Why is it not like a stamp? It should be. 2 cents costs 2 cents and a 42 cent stamp costs 42 cents. Simple and fair!

Today, I found out for sure about my time card. The 70% for 10 years means that I will do 5 years before I parole out. I am kind of in a state [emotional] right now. God, I hate this state [Arkansas]. I am very upset and don't want to think or write anymore.

Cummins

2010-01-19T22:11:00.000-08:00

It is so much better here in Cummins. We did orientation. An inmate of 20 years did our orientation. He was a man of God and a great speaker! He talked about how it was our fault that we are here in prison and if we were real men we would not have allowed ourselves to be put into this position. Being men, taking care of house and family.

I totally agree. I myself made and lived a few bad choices and I should pay for my mistakes.

I agree!

But what is total BULLSHIT and burns me up is this: My friend I met in Washington County Jail has an identical charge (actually he had more products), also has 4 other felony charges (1) Fraud Etc Drug Paraphernalia (this is identical to mine) (2) Criminal Conspiracy (3) Man. Delu. Poss. Cont. Subs. (4) Simul. Poss. of drug/firearm (5) Poss. firearm. He was sentenced to 15 years and has to do 3.5 before parole.

Well,

2010-01-18T22:11:00.000-08:00

Cummins it is! (so cool)

It must be 20 degrees outside with the windchill factor. God knows how I feel about the cold!

I am so stressed out about my time card! I am so afraid that my piece of shit lawyer lied to me. It is looking like I will be in prison for over 5 years even with good time. God forgive me, but I hate her and hope she burns in hell!

Guess What?

2010-01-18T22:07:00.000-08:00

Finally we are being taken to our parent unit. From what I understand, we will be going to Cummins or Varner. I hope I go to Cummins just for the fact it's for elders and lifers, where as Varner is for the young "Gladiator School" (punks and gang-bangers).

It is good to get out of the one piece jumpsuit and into pants and a shirt.

Things that would make me smile for today:

2010-01-11T21:03:00.000-08:00

If I read in the paper that the Public Pretender broke both of her ARMS and could not wipe her ass for 6 months!

That would make me feel warm all over!!!

My happy moment...

New Day, Same Shit (Still Intake)

2010-01-10T20:50:00.000-08:00

I was talking to this one inmate and he had to do a 12 year on the LOW, meaning his T.E. date is 6-1-2011. This guy was driving drunk and killed a person in another car. So basically this man murdered someone! I didn't hurt anyone and for my crime I get 70% and my T.E. date is, at this time, 8-17-2014! That is so fucked up!

I am not making these stories up. Check it out yourself.

Also while I was talking to this guy he told me about a murder that happened in the County Jail he was put in. One he witnessed. The County Jail dresses you in pink. I sure you can find which one it was, because there is only one other jail I know of that does that, and it's in Phoenix, AZ. He said 3 or 4 other inmates thought this one other inmate ratted on them for something they had done while in the County Jail. So the men cornered the one in the shower stall. They smashed his face and the back of his head into concrete! They killed him only to find the next day that he was not the one who ratted on them.

This dead man was in jail for a probation violation. The probation violated him because the man was a contractor and due to the economy had to go out of state to get work, which provided a roof over his family and food on the table.

Now instead of 2 months to 6 months, his probation violation got him a death sentence. The only thing he can give his family now is sorrow and single parent life for the kids. All because he wanted to work and provide for his family! Arkansas the Prison State!

Breakfast:

2010-01-09T20:34:00.000-08:00

Grits, gravy, sausage (turkey), 2 biscuits, and nasty powder eggs with 1/2 cup juice and one plastic bag of milk that has been frozen or something because half of it is clotted! yum yum >:0

Went outside to the yard at 8:30am. Froze our asses off, but it was worth it (clean air). Sergeant was out watching us in these dog cages.

We are all very fucking tired of being set on the side at a stand still while everyone else moves on. Yes - we are still Intake!

Lunch: A distorted ball of hamburger (looked like a giant turd).

Back to our cells until dinner. We did get to get a book today (allowed 1 a week). I got Odd Thomas (Koontz). I also got a radio last week, which helps, but not everyone has money. I don't think it's fair and I can't do anything about it!

Dinner sucked and I did not eat any of the fake meat from the Save the Children Campaign!

The days are long. The only things people look forward to is food and mail.

We have been waiting...

2010-01-08T20:31:00.000-08:00

...33 days to even get into our parent unit, where others only wait 4 days.

So that's where we are at this time.

So I just ran into another inmate at Church...

2010-01-07T20:28:00.000-08:00

He was still in Diagnostics when they moved us to R.L.W. unit. He has already been to his parent unit and has been sent to the R.L.W. unit to do his SATP classes and has already started his 60 days to get his classification to move to Level ONE.

This is total BULLSHIT. I got to Diagnostics before he did!

Finally made it to ADC Diagnostics!

2010-01-06T20:26:00.000-08:00

It is a place where they do all kinds of tests on you. Your health, physical and mental. They figure out what prison parent unit you will go to.

Due to over crowded prisons, after 8 days in diagnostics they move me and 30 others to Randall L. Williams Correctional unit (still as intake).

Here we sit in Limbo! While all the rest is coming and going from Diagnostic unit to their parent unit to get started on their 60 days to be put in Level One Classification. We are mostly stuck in one man cells for 24 hours except for eating and sometimes 1 hour yard (which is a dog cage!) and we are just Intake (Limbo)! (hole in the wall) The racism and hate is incredible. So sickening. It saddens me!

I did receive my Time Card here at R.L.W. unit. It is now a fact that my low-life, inbred, Public Pretender lawyer lied to me!

The courts gave me 70% instead of 50%.

God states to hate is just like murder! She puts me on the edge of total sin! I hope she burns in this world and after!

When I get to my parent unit, I will be able to go to the Law Library and put in an appeal. Wish me luck!

So I guess I got to start with the beginning.

2009-12-29T09:41:00.000-08:00

I lived in Arkansas and subcontracted to my father's company. My father found a part of a meth lab in his shop (shaker bottles). Next thing he did was call the police and reported that I had a meth lab in his shop. When I found out he called the police I took off. I was done with his abuse and theft at that time anyhow.

I ended up in Phoenix, AZ. I worked for two companies doing HVAC. One of which had me working for the City of Phoenix who does background checks. It was clean so I received a badge (allows me to work on any city location).

I got pulled over 2 days before Christmas with some friend (traffic violation). I was taken to jail because of a warrant for my arrest out of AR. Stayed in the Phoenix jail for over three weeks. Into the third week I broke my ankle coming off their top bunks. I was in the doc. waiting room getting ready to get xrays when the officers from Washington County sheriff's showed up and took me back to AR.

I had a broken ankle and was shackled feet and hands, stuck in the back seat of a police car with two other prisoners. One of them weighed over 250 lbs. for a three day trip back to AR. I was in complete pain! The officers smoked in the car. Did not let us have even a drag!

In Washington County jail after 3 days, I finally went to a doctor and got xrays. It was broken! They put a splint on it and stuck me in 23 hour lock down for 3 and a half months. A half a month later, I was able to bond out for two months, since I was a non-commit. It was not enough time to make money. I needed to get a real lawyer. So I was stuck with a Public Pretender (Defender). She told me the best I would get is 20 years. 10 suspended at 50%.

She also told me there was another way that I would not have to do any time if I would work for the DTF (set people up and wear a wire against people). I told her to go fuck herself.

I didn't know that she had already fucked the prosecuting attorney and has a bastard child from him!

So the judge gave me 10 years at 50% or that was what I was told by the Public Pretender (city slut). If I didn't take that plea, I was told that I would get 20 years. If I only knew what I know now I would just be on probation.

I think of myself as a good man. I don't hurt, steal, or lie to people. I've worked my whole life. But my best is my daughter. College grad and a fantastic person who I love dearly.

Back at Washington County Jail for months due to ADC being completely full! I have lost everything I've owned and I mean everything - even my freedom. Which I should say I forfeited.

Somethings I don't understand. I am an addict and an alcoholic, but I work every day and take care. I do understand that I can make a better life for myself by living differently, but I do have fun in life and I don't hurt no one in the process. When I made drugs, they were only for myself. So tell me what is wrong with that?

Well the courts treat me worse than a murderer, rapist, or child molester. I believe in God Law and live by it! Man Laws are in my mind - Fucked up!