I work again today...

Boy, by having us like slaves, they sure do save a lot of money! I thought slavery was out years ago.

I talked to one of the guys of the families that are suing the court over the 70% law and he said that they WON. But the judge has to apply it, or something. I don't really understand, but the guy said it could be tomorrow or next year. So when it happens it will take 2.5 years off of my T.E. date. Limbo.

Late night -

I am tired/worn out. I sleep in a 6 man cell. It is not that bad, but I miss my privacy. The man that sleeps in the bunk to my left is a good man. He is your age and has the same problem as your friend [who is addicted to pills]. Addicted to those fucking downers. I feel for those type of addicts. My heart really goes out to them.You see, with meth and cocaine it is very different with the withdrawal.

So anyhow, this guy went into the pharmacy and held them up for pills. Didn't get nothing but 30 years. He will have to do 15 of it. I believe he is suicidal right now. It sucks to see this.

Where to find support...

My Dad wanted me to post something for some of the wives, so they could find a place to go and talk with other wives and get some kind of support and understanding.

Prison Talk is an online forum. There are lots of women on there who have husbands in prison, and there's lots of information as well. I would definitely recommend perusing the forum section if you need someone to talk to. It's a family support site, so others are of course welcome, too.

I have been working hard.

The hospital 40 ton compressor went out. So I am fixing it (replacing it), but there is about 6 other guys trying to tell me how to do it. Bunch of idiots.

If I could wish for anything...

you know what my wish would be? Maybe, maybe not, so here it is:

A small one, but a good one. I would like to go back with the knowledge I have now to the age of 29 when we moved to Hawaii [I'm 26, Dad is 46]. I know I would have been a better father. We would probably still be over there now. I would probably be living in Kula (upper) or Pukalani, and you - the world would be yours.

Sorry. I don't live in the past, but I sure do get pissed at myself when I think about all the stupid moves I made. Forgive me! The hardest part is forgiving myself.

I don't know where I am going from here.

I am back in limbo. Still waiting for the decision on the 70% to 25%. I should find out something this week.

So here is the update:

I still don't smoke, but with a $20 bill I can get a bag of "Top" cigarettes ($2 in stores) from an officer and get 35 smokes from the Tops bag and sell them for $2 a piece to the inmates. That is the going price. So, actually, for a $2 bag of Tops, you can make $68 in prison! Is that messed up, or what? People taking advantage of people.

Besides that, they put me in maintenance. I am the top man over the whole AC & Heating project. The man! [slave labor]